Introducing Kids to Rock Climbing: How Our Family Made It Fun to "Try Hard!"

Any parents of a child or of kids who are very passionate about a particular activity can relate to the constant dilemmas that surround keeping your kids (and your family) in balance when it comes to that activity. That is especially true for an activity like climbing, where safety considerations factor in to a greater degree that many other pursuits.

First off, there is just the whole “nature versus nurture” argument. Yes, our kids climbed early. But a lot of kids do. What is interesting to me, as you watch the early video of our kids climbing up to the TV stand, is that we didn’t stop them. We just watched them problem solve. And then, of course, they were at the park climbing the pre-made jungle gyms and various climbing apparatuses. And - at least in my family - we can add in the climbing books on the library shelf, and the climbing photos around the house. There was even an early video of Dad’s trip to the top of North America. So, climbing was around them.

Did they find climbing on their own? To the extent that every kid reaches for something they want, and having failed to get it, finds a way to climb to it… yes. But, in having an environment that didn’t just “not discourage,” but rather “actively encouraged” their climbing, then… no. It’s been socialized into them.

That’s not a decision - and, yes, it is a decision - that we take lightly.

Technical climbing has a lot of inherent rewards. I love that it puts you outside and in literal connection to nature. Nature ceases to be some abstract thing. To advance your goal, you have to learn to work in harmony with what nature put there. You can’t bend the rock to your will. I love that climbing is filled with longer-term rewards, and is awfully short on immediate gratification… at least it is when you are climbing at your limit and, therefore, are likely to fail a lot. I love that the “easiest” variable to tilt in your favor is your you: your physical abilities, your mental approach, your motivation. It almost forces introspection and requires that you become an active participant in your own development. These are all great things.

But, taken to the edge, climbing comes with risks, and you cannot control all of them. Like anything, there are gradations. Sport climbing on rock (that is, rock climbing on routes where fixed bolts are drilled into the rock) is comparatively very safe. Yes, you have to know your anchor and rope systems. Someone in your family or group has to know how to lead climb (head up the route with the rope trailing behind you in order to bring the rope to the top of the route). But it is a fairly controlled environment when compared to - say - extreme high altitude climbing of the sort you find in the Himalaya; here the vagaries of a changing set of surfaces (snow and ice), the weather, and even your own ability to adjust to the altitude can mean the difference between life and death on a moment-by-moment basis.

Where will my kids want to take their technical climbing? Do they stop at sport routes on comparatively solid rock? Do they go to the truly big mountains? And where is our parental comfort zone with all of this?

Well, maybe there isn’t really anything like a parental comfort zone in any walk of life, now that I think about it.

So, we try to be encouraging but mindful stewards. If they want to do things that are audacious, then they have to put in the work - developing the right skills, knowledge, experiences, and physical capabilities to be able to go after those goals. Is that really any different than anything else we would encourage our kids to do? What about going to college. Same deal, right? We need to provide a path of resources and experiences so that they have what they need should they eventually chose that path. Climbing just puts those parental duties into laser-sharp focus, because the consequences can be so high.

On the other hand, we need to be equally prepared for them to abandon climbing for some other set of interests. That means: 1) exposing them to other things that could take their interests away from climbing, and 2) allowing them to make those decisions, should they choose to do so.

I suppose, that any activity the kids wanted to pursue would come with an inherent set of risks. Heck, they are going to be driving eventually someday, right? (Well, maybe not if self-driving cars become an accessible thing). I guess my point is that as parents, we are always performing that dance that demands our kids take risks while we simultaneously commit to helping mitigate those risks. Risks are intertwined with growing up. You try things, and you will sometimes fail. Those failures will have consequences ranging from inconsequential to highly consequential across both physical to emotional outcomes. So, we try to stop the kids from taking risks they aren’t ready for, or which have no upside. Don’t put the knife in the light-socket. But, maybe getting wrong that math problem that is above your abilities isn’t such a bad thing (it’s good to know that you don’t know). Don’t lead climb, yet, there is too much going on for a little kid to master. But, sure, top rope that thing you’re going to fall from five times.

Maybe one of the best things climbing teaches is a systematic approach to assessing and managing risk. After all, that’s a skill we need every day of our non-climbing lives, too.